Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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