Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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