what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
