drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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