This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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