I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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