we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
