No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
