and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
