Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
