my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
