I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Randomize
