You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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