I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
