anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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