I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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