well you can't waste a boner
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
