There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
