did you get engaged???
We're facebook friends in real life
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
