uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
