Cold hands, warm shart.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
God I need to hump something, right now.
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