We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
