Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
he's single and there are thong briefs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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