I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
