i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
