Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
