All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
