370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
