Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
