I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
