haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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