I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
