so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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