I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
