I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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