It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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