How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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