Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
