my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
