so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
COCAINE IS GR8
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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