that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
