I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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