i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
