Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
