Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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