Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
