Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
