I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
