Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I had to cum in my sink.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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