marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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